Tips for thriving through the holidays

The holiday period can be a mixed back of emotions. Some people are energised, it’s their favourite time of the year. For others, it can bring emotions of sadness or loss. Many of my clients can’t wait for the season to come along, only to find that it can come with its own challenges.

Here are some tips to thrive during the holiday season.

 1.      Routine is key

Most of us throw out the usual routine, and then feel frustrated or disappointed in themselves. Change in routine can be stress inducing for most people, be mindful to keep as much of your regular routine in place as possible.

2.     Connect

Make the time to connect (in person or virtually) with friends and/or family who you feel valued by, those who fill your cup.

3.     Keep it real

Much like the typical approach to goal setting or habit formation, we forecast the “perfect” holiday, where everything aligns and meets your expectations. Ditch the fantasy and keep it real.

Try not to put unreasonable pressure on yourself, give yourself a break.

4.     Stay in the moment

Spending time with family and friends can push us into old patterns, habits or roles that we’ve grown up with. The reality is that you have evolved, and so have the people around you. Try and stay present, and think about who you all are today, not who you were in your childhood. Take a break, walk away if necessary to reset – and then connect with the current moment.

5.     Be vulnerable

Some people will naturally try and take on too much. Remember, it’s ok to ask for help from family and friends.

6.     Be kind to yourself

Do what feels good, and what you want to do. It’s OK to say no when you’re asked to do more than you can. It’s fine to say no to some invitations.

Above all, be kind to yourself.

Happy International Women's Day

This international women’s day I’m reflecting on the support and encouragement I’ve received along the way from the amazing women in my personal and professional network.

 Lock HR started almost three years ago with the kind words of a friend who encouraged me to setup my own consultancy after taking a redundancy. Without her, I don’t think I would have considered it as an option. I will forever be grateful for that fateful day discussing my next steps over sushi. Once I started considering it seriously as an option, it also helped that a close female friend had recently moved into consultancy and had plenty of words of encouragement.

 My brilliant predominantly female client base have been fantastic supporters who have actively referred me to others in their networks. Without that type of endorsement, I may not have continued to pursue this as my career path. A good friend recently referred me to her workplace and recommended my services to support their existing people and culture initiatives. To be such an advocate for me and my capability, to put her own brand and reputation on the line, it was not unnoticed and very much appreciated.

 The most recent example of support was an act of kindness that moved me to write this piece. Very recently I caught up with a client and some her team after the end of a long work week. To receive a text message from your client on a Saturday morning offering to debrief your week is just incredible. For her to notice that I was grappling with something and needed to talk it through, and then offer to support was like the best warm hug you can get. Remember, I’m the one who’s meant to coach her! After years of being part of various sized teams in internal roles, it can be extremely lonely in the consulting world. To have women like this amazing client and now friend in your corner makes you feel invincible.

 I feel so fortunate that the majority of my clients are female entrepreneurs who are doing amazing things in their respective fields. I’d love to say that it’s been by design, but it certainly wasn’t the case, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 Happy international women’s day to you all.

Keep uplifting one another, keep supporting one another.

Trust the Signs, Trust your Gut & Ask R U OK?

It’s RUOK day here in Australia today, and it’s a reminder to us all to keep this message alive everyday. There are so many great resources available on the RUOK? website for workplaces and the broader community, I encourage you to take a look: https://www.ruok.org.au/every-day-resources

I’ve included here my personal favourite that helps to guide the conversation.

The New Face of Leadership

This week I watched the Collingwood Football Club’s documentary that was released on ABC. The documentary focuses on head coach Nathan Buckley and a few players throughout the 2018 football season. I’m a passionate fan of the club, so I was mostly watching it to get an inside look into the club that I love so much. Whilst it certainly did this for me, my other takeaway was the evolution of Nathan Buckley as a leader. The journey he taken over the past few years is one that I find myself supporting clients to take during my leadership coaching sessions.

On observation, Nathan’s traditional leadership style appeared to be more authoritative and directive approach. From an outside perspective, this seems to be a common leadership style amongst AFL coaches. Yet what Nathan found, and what many leaders find is that this approach does not always give you the outcome you are looking for. As inexperienced leaders, we often make the mistake of thinking that the title of manager automatically delivers you a team that will follow your direction and do as you say. We soon discover that this simply does not always work. It might deliver some results, but the risk is the breakdown in relationships, the lack of engagement and the possible burnout of your team. This can be a very frustrating time for everyone involved. I often hear leaders struggling with the ‘extra work’ they need to do as leaders, and the changes they feel they need to make. A common complaint is that all the burden is on the manager, and the employee appears to get away without putting in the work.

I suspect that Nathan would have felt these same frustrations when he transitioned into his current role. As a previous captain of the club and celebrated player, he may have been surprised that not all players and staff were following his lead. To my delight, over the past few years, Nathan appears to have adapted his leadership style. The results particularly during 2018 were incredible for the club. The team appeared to be playing for each other, and for him. The media and social media commentary was full of praise for the shift that he was able to make as head coach. It was a huge turnaround for Nathan and the club. Yet, the team was fairly unchanged, most of the administration was the same, so what exactly had changed?

I can see two factors that likely contributed to the change:

Mindset - Nathan’s mindset had changed. He started to think about the type of working culture he wanted, the type of club he wanted to be a part of. Having identified this goal, he started to consider the behaviours that would deliver this, both from himself and others. He recognised that as a leader, he needed to be flexible so he could achieve his own goals.

Shared Workload - Nathan started to allow others to take part in the solution. He allowed his supporting coaches and the team to participate more openly to help shape the culture. He realised that he was taking on far too much responsibility and not allowing others to take ownership and share the load.

Self-Awareness - Nathan is likely to have had some self-reflection to understand the part he was playing to contribute to the issues he was facing. Once he identified these, he needed to start making some changes.

As a leader, it is critical to develop your self awareness to understand what contributions you are making to your team (both positive and negative). Once you understand your own personality and drivers, you can start to work on the areas that may not be getting you closer to your own goals.

If you are looking for external coaching or support to develop as a leader, reach out to me on email: mehtap@lockhr.com. For anyone interested in the documentary, Collingwood: From the Inside Out is available on ABC iview.